How do I politely decline my own wedding?

Question

I proposed, they said yes, we planned everything, the invitations are out. But now I'm having second thoughts. The wedding is in 3 weeks. What's the most graceful exit?

Answer

Fake your own kidnapping. By aliens. That way nobody can be mad at you because it was clearly out of your control. Bonus: you get to be on the news.

Answer

Just don't show up. When people ask, say you thought it was a metaphorical wedding about your journey with yourself. Deep breath, sage the room, walk away.

How do I politely decline my own wedding?

2 Terrible Answers